This is a Trip Report from the Upper Class cabin
Ground Staff
Food & Drink
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Car showed up at the hotel, as arranged, at 4 and plodded through a pretty congested New York to JFK, arriving at the terminal at about half 5. Something of an over sight, but we hadnt packed the pram/unruly hang-glider up before getting in the car, so had to do so at the edge of check-in. Three attempts, ten minutes, two threats of divorce and countless profanities later, we were packed and presenting ourselves at UC check-in. Our plane was, as we were already aware, a 346, and with that in mind wed pre-selected 8 & 9A. Our delightful and awfully well informed check-in agent, however, was able to inform us that 8G on the 346 had a bassinet position, and she could move us to that and 8K. Whilst I ummed, ahhed, considered the options laid before me and tried to recall the V-Flyer seat ratings page from memory, Mrs. mdvipond had all but bitten the agent's hand off and was already brandishing our boarding cards. Fair enough, I suppose. Dragged our cases and hang-glider to the cheery TSA man and we were on our way.
The Clubhouse was quite busy, predominantly with folk waiting for the 19.30 flight (VS002?). In fact the flight must have been rather full, as a call went out a couple of times for volunteers to be shifted from this to our flight, although I didnt see to many takers. Decided to wait a while before ordering food to allow the crowds to clear and opted for an apple Martini to pass the time.
As Clubhouses go, JFK really does like to remind you that youre in an airport, being as open-plan as it is, but it was comfortable and well laid out enough. The staff were great although they seemed to be more interested in mdvipond jr. than yours truly. She beamed, cooed and gurgled at them accordingly, then, when no one but us was looking, promptly threw up down herself. Little angel. One costume change later we both ordered ribs with macaroni cheese, which showed up quite quickly and was really very good.
Nicked some bottles of mineral water to stuff in our hand luggage I dont care what class you fly, there is NEVER enough water on a plane and some ice cream to eat along the way as we set off for security. Not as bad as it can be; coat off, belt off, shoes off, along with my phone, wallet and change, all through the x-ray; walk through the metal detector, didn't beep, still told go back and take my jacket off. Did so, meekly, then got called back to take my portable DVD player out of my bag (I had told the lady it was in there to start with, but I guess she doesnt get paid to listen). Went through the metal detector once more, finally released and allowed to put my clothes back on. As I say, not as bad as it can be.
Picked up 400 ciggies at the duty free just before the gate (tried for 600 but apparently mdvipond jr. doesnt get an allowance. Shocking). Up to the gate, straight onto the plane (dont hold me to this, but I think it was VSHY, Madam Butterfly), strolled up to our newly allotted seats of 8G & K you know, the ones with the bassinet position to be told by a very friendly member FA that, no, sorry, no bassinet positions in Upper Class on any VS plane.
To her credit, I noticed that Mrs. mdvipond was smiling when she explained to the FA in question that our seats had been changed at check-in specifically to benefit from the alleged bassinet, but Ive known her for a number of years now, and this isnt necessarily a good sign. Fortunately, the CSS was quickly summoned and was able to confirm that yes, there was a bassinet position at 8G, Mrs. mdviponds smile became a little less forced and all was once again good in the world. Out of interest, the bassinet itself is really rather groovy, done out as it is in the same burgundy leather stylings as the suites themselves.
With all that excitement out of the way we settled into our seats, took the offered champers and perused the Freedom menu bear in mind this was to be our first experience of a Good Night Fright (sic). It has be said that when the GNF was first introduced I considered it be a penny-pinching, profiteering and cynical scheme dreamt up by the bean-counters at VS in another attempt to chip away at all we hold dear when travelling Upper Class. And, with the exception of US east coast flights, Im probably still right. However, at turned 9 at night, with an estimated flight time of under 6 hours and having already feasted on ribs n ice cream in the Clubhouse, it has be said that this is where GNF makes perfect sense. Orders were taken prior to take-off, with Mrs. mdvipond opting for the cold tray some kind of beef salad, I think and me going for the hot tray, which was to consist of butternut squash ravioli and a salad.
Bit of a queue for the runway, but we were airborne just before 10. mdvipond jr., who for obvious reasons couldnt take to her hard earned bassinet until the seat belt sign went off, was as enamoured by take-off as ever, sleeping throughout. The gentleman next me in 7K, who explained that he had a baby much the same age as jr., congratulated us on our bravery at flying with one so young. Id be so worried that shed scream for hours and drive every other passenger to distraction, he said. Not a problem, I replied, introducing him to my Bose noise-cancelling headphones. Well, us new fathers have got to stick together, havent we?
Seat belt sign went off and sleeping beauty was placed in the bassinet, freeing Mrs. mdvipond up to partake of her cold supper tray two-handed - a rare treat when youre mother to a 3-4 month old baby - which she said was very nice.
My hot supper tray arrived soon after, along with a Tanqueray No. 10 and tonic. The butternut squash ravioli was really good, and worked very well as a suppery kind of dish. I even managed to throw some of the sauce down the front of my shirt so that I could be reminded of it later. Finished off with another G & T and a bowl of ice cream. Watched The Wedding Crashers throughout, which was very funny in a gin-and-ice-cream-coming-out-the-nose kind of way.
With most of the cabin now in the land of nod I nipped to the loos to get changed. Expecting another stifling night in J I opted for the sleep-suit bottoms and a T-shirt rather than the full sleep-suit. Theres something about being entirely encased in polyester whilst subjected to tropical heat that doesnt quite ring my bell. Wouldnt it be a nice idea to make the sleep suits out of cotton next time? Just a thought. Anyway, once I returned to my converted suite I wasnt to be disappointed, as it felt rather like being trapped in that tin shed they put Alec Guinness in in Bridge Over The River Kwai. Yes, I know, I only had to ask to have the heating turned down, but with 90% of the rest of the cabin seemingly away with the fairies it didnt seem a fair option.
Got an hour or so of fitful sleep (jr. got 5 hours plus), woken to be told we were 45 minutes out of LHR. Queued for a loo for 15 minutes grabbing an OJ from the bar whilst I waited only to discover that there was no water in my chosen WC. Got changed and went to find a toilet with running water, only to find a queue of 4 or 5 sleep-suited figures at each of the two remaining conveniences. Had to return to my seat to allow Mrs. and jr. a chance at changing (jr.s need being greater than most after 5 hours). Looking around as we came into land, I dont think I was the only one who missed out on a wash n freshen up.
We landed more-or-less on time, quickly disembarked and were picking our cases and hang-glider up within 10 minutes or so. Straight off to Revivals, where Mrs. mdvipond took a shower whilst two wonderful staff argued over who was going to hold jr. One lady in particular was a true star, keeping jr. occupied whilst I dug into bacon, sausage and scrambled egg. We had 2 or 3 hours to kill before our flight back up to LBA and Revivals proved the perfect spot to spend the time. Soon enough, we prised our daughter from the arms of the staff and headed back to sunny Leeds.
Yet another great VS experience, marred only by the usual stuffy cabin problem and the lack of (working) toilets on board. And please, introduce cotton sleep-suits before my next flight!
