This is a Trip Report from the Upper Class cabin
Ground Staff
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When you live 12 miles from Heathrow the limo is not the wonderful freebie that it could be, however it does give you access to the drive through check in, cutting out all that tedious waiting in line in zone A of Terminal 3. The limo driver drew up outside my front door the requisite 5 minutes early, and within minutes we were heading out on the M4 to a Heathrow Spur that was mercifully free of snarl ups. Even so, the sheer weight of traffic (as the travel broadcasts would call it) meant that it was 7:30 before we drew up outside the drive through check in. Why so early? Well, a meeting in the lounge, a prebooked haircut and a huge number of emails had dictated my itinerary.
Normally my Washington client pays for PE out and Upper Class back, so drive through was a rare treat, even if it does consist of nothing more than waving your passport and ticket out of the window and answering a couple of security questions. Quick enough I was clutching my boarding pass for 2K on todays 346 and trying not to slip sideways on the shiny Volvo leather as we spiralled up to the departure level. I do like the limo service but some of the Tristar cars do seem to be a tad long in the tooth now: previously Ive had BMW 7 series and Mercedes S-classes, and being a devotee of German marques I would have preferred one of these rather than Swedens finest. Anyway, Im nit picking what still is a damn fine service.
The only way to enter Heathrow from the drive through is to breeze down the ramp and angle left to the FastTrack security in true road warrior style, preferably scattering tourists, pensioners and families in your wake. If absolutely necessary a stop to change some money is permissible, but nothing more if youre going for maximum style. Unfortunately this speedy journey was rudely interrupted by a FastTrack security queue almost back to the entrance: the new laptop regulations were clearly having an effect.
Time for a brief rumination on security lines. Why does this take so long? Why cant people take laptops out of bags when requested? Why dont they understand that taking off your coat and removing the laptop before you get to the head of the queue might speed things up? And why do people let their kids run around the security area and cause mayhem? The screeners werent helping matters either: every item seemed to be undergoing the utmost scrutiny and most people were being signalled for a patdown by the overzealous scanner. Happily I made it through by giving a virtuoso performance of removing my coat and taking out my laptop in a swirl of coordinated limbs and pirouetting feet, and without a single beep from the machine I bounded forth into the departures lounge.
Now, heres a quick quiz for all you regular Upper Class flyers. Can you name any shops or restaurants in the T3 departures lounge? I cant. All I remember is casting a glance at the prize car near the exit (a Bentley GT, or a Volkswagen as I like to tell my boss who has one) before heading to the Clubhouse. In fact, come to think of it Ive never, ever stopped in the T3 departures area. What could I be missing?
Never mind. The lounge was as I remembered, although it was fairly full and finding a table near the pool proved difficult. Still, the orange juice was fresh, the English breakfast substantial, and I managed to bag a space in the main section with power for the laptop once I had eaten my fill.
The Bumble & Bumble salon seemed to be doing great business and I headed over at 9am for a rather vicious haircut that made me look even more like a nightclub bouncer than usual. The haircut took rather a long time (about 40 minutes), and exiting the salon I was presented with a very full lounge with pretty much every available seat taken. Even the Los Angeles, Miami and San Francisco flights being called didnt thin it out much, so once my gate was on the board (36, a nice long trot) I headed out for a brisk walk. As an aside, Virgins planning really has gone awry with the new Clubhouse: creating a space where for 6 months you have people who have paid premium fares unable to find a place to sit is just plain unacceptable.
Gate 36 is right at the end of the far pier and requires you to have your passport checked by security, and your boarding card inserted in the machine before you get to the gate area. In fact, if you are there early you also get the dubious pleasure of a secondary security screening. I really do object to this, presumably its a result of paranoid US requirements but it only happens when I am scruffily dressed. So, it was shoes off, laptop out (taking the battery out as requested) and then a full pat down from a security guard with terminal bad breath.
I had decided on 2K for a change from my beloved 11A, but I lost out in the lottery of 346s: G-VGAS has the toilet on the right hand side whereas most of my previous 346s (G-VFOX in December for example) have it on the left. Still it is at least convenient and didnt prove to be too intrusive. After parking myself in position I was offered the usual glass of champagne and introduction from the IFBT.
As Ive mentioned before, the Airbus suite is definitely smaller than the 747 one, and with broad shoulders you can feel wedged in between suite wall and the daft spot light. It was even more apparent when my portly neighbour started bashing around in his suite: up and down, rooting around in the overhead, and with each movement dealing our shared wall a mighty blow. I hunkered down and tried to ignore him, burying my nose in the Guardian until we were airborne.
I wont repeat the menu but I decided, as usual, on the salad with grilled chicken and then the salmon and hake. And as usual the chicken was horribly dry (the leaves were acceptable) and the fish attained both the taste and consistency of damp cardboard. A couple of Bloody Marys washed things down in an attempt to taste something more pleasant.
Then back to the laptop for more work with a brief digression into V.Port to see a few episodes of The Green Wing (much underrated in my opinion) before converting the suite for a quick snooze. Getting a couple of hours is no problem, but the bed side of the suite does tend to feel rather hard and the ottoman seat belt can be intrusive if youve got long legs. The 346 suite is definitely shorter as well as narrower than the 747 version, and I ended up wedged with my head against the sidewall and my feet resting on the top edge of the ottoman; it looked ungainly but did give me some much needed rest.
We were put in a holding pattern to the east of Dulles for 10 minutes due to traffic, but made it onto the ground just in advance of our scheduled arrival time of 15:25. Then it was onto the usual Dulles people mover to the main terminal and immigration. As with last time, this proved quick and efficient, and I didnt even have to wait that long for my bag to appear on the carousel.
Entering the arrivals zone Virgin has a portable sign for the limo transfer service which is provided by Boston Coach at Dulles. I was one of only 7 people on their list who warranted or wanted a free limo ride: perhaps most of the others were on Z tickets or had company chauffeurs picking them up.
As we headed down the freeway towards my hotel in Georgetown I had time to take stock of what must have been my thirtieth (or thereabouts) time travelling in the Virgin Upper Class Suite. Firstly the suite is undeniably more spacious than BAs New Club World, but its nowhere near as roomy (never mind specific measurements) as BAs FIRST, or any of the other First class suite products I have tried. Secondly the sleeping surface could really do with being softer. This is something that BA is addressing with their product, and Virgin should do the same. Thirdly the control positions really do need a rethink: despite being a fairly seasoned suite traveller I am still always hitting the sensitive seat buttons with my arm causing unwanted movement. The good news is that the cocktail table is now pretty robust, but the reading light is worse than hopeless: it needs to be replaced by a decent gooseneck which will afford better direction and less cabin intrusion.
However, for an individual traveller the suite is undeniably the best business class seat/bed in the sky. For couples its a bit more debateable: personally I really dont like the lack of any decent options on the 346 that allow you to converse properly with a partner (unlike on the 747).
More in a couple of days when I do the return segment in the snooze zone (2K again).
BC
