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Alistair the Cabin Supervisor

Posted:
08 May 2004, 11:29
by Wolves27
Has anyone else had Alistair the Cabin Supervisor on their flight. I know he works the SFO / LAX routes. I think he is the most entertaining one I've ever had. He dispenses with the safety video and does his own routine.
A personal favourite of mine was: "there may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but only 12 ways to leave this plane...."
We asked him on leaving if he was a fan of
http://www.pamann.com. He was, she is great.
Him and his staff also let us try out the PE and UC seats at the end of the flight, at this time I had only ever flow in E.
Dean

Posted:
08 May 2004, 17:56
by Vrocking
Dean,
I cant say I have experienced Alistair, but on my outbound flight to Hong Kong last month, I also had some very entertaining announcements by the In flight supervisor (Matt?).
Had a lot of people in stitches and was really quite funny, here are a few...
"Here at VA we pride ourselves on world class cabin crew...unfortunately we dont have any of these onboard for tonights flight but the ones will have are just as good"
On arrival in Hong Kong...
"At this point we ask for volenteers to stay behind and clean the toilets...to volenteer just stand up before the seat belt signs are turned off"
"The next time you get that insane urge to go blasting through the clouds in nothing but a pressurised metal tube, please think of us here at Virgin Atlantic!!"
Very Funny, and a nice touch!

Posted:
08 May 2004, 18:36
by RichD
From the senior flight attendant on a Virgin Atlantic service to San Diego last year:
"OK Children, cabin doors to automatic"
Rich

Posted:
08 May 2004, 18:44
by mitchja
I've also had the......
'Please make sure you read the safety card...As you WILL be tested on it before we land'
or the
'anyone caught smoking will be asked to leave the aircraft immediately'
Regards

Posted:
08 May 2004, 20:11
by candyman
just so hope that we get some one like these
i think it makes it mega loads better
it is my wifes first flight and i guess she will be a bit nervous and stuff like this makes it much easier
steve

Posted:
08 May 2004, 20:27
by Nottingham Nick
quote:Originally posted by candyman
just so hope that we get some one like these
i think it makes it mega loads better
steve
Totally agree Steve, it gives a really bad impression when the IFS reads the scripts from the cards in a monotone 'I don't really want to be saying all this again' type of voice.
Nick

Posted:
08 May 2004, 20:41
by gurmstar
hi
When i flew lhr-del last summer, the cabin attendent did more or else the same joke about the 50 ways to leave your lover but only 12 leave to the aircraft. the rest of the spiel was just as funny and perked everyone up for the overnight flight..

however cannot be sure it was alistar though.
Gurmstar

Posted:
08 May 2004, 20:50
by Vrocking
Mitchja has reminded me of another cracker from our IFS on route to HKG...
"anybody caught smoking will be sat out on the wing, and if you can light it you can smoke it"
I totally agree that it lightens the mood and beats reading the script hands down.

Posted:
08 May 2004, 22:19
by jonathan020
Hehe, I like all the comments above. One that I had a few years ago was....
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we will shortly be starting our descent to Los Angeles International Airport..... ermm hang on, we are going to Las Vegas arnt we"
hehe

Posted:
09 May 2004, 01:12
by Wolves27
Gurmstar, I'm pretty much sure it was Alistair, unless they have a pool of saying that they all use. He was giving loads of funnies that really helped the mood, another was:
"The Cabin crew will now lash themselves to the fuselage as we go hurtling down the runway"
Saying that, their standard safety video is quite funny. If you want unintentionally funny watch Continental's safety video - Its all hair and teeth!
Dean

Posted:
10 May 2004, 11:32
by Virgin Lover
Hi all,
I arrived back from Los Angeles on the 8 yesterday and we could not park for 30 mins, the captain made the following announcement after we has sat for 15 mins and 3 other aircraft had taxied past us into the cul-de-sac.
"I am sorry about this, I have asked why these other aircraft have been parked ahead of us and the gate agent says it is a long story! I don't think that it is anything personal, just the way that British Airways... sorry British Airports allocate the parking spaces!!"
A little Jab?
Neil Harrison.

Posted:
10 May 2004, 20:54
by Tinkerbelle
I've flown with Alistair many times and its always the same announcements! I've never known him to show the safety video once - the first time I flew with him I could hardly do the demo as I was laughing so much.

Posted:
10 May 2004, 20:59
by Nottingham Nick
quote:Originally posted by Tinkerbelle
I've flown with Alistair many times and its always the same announcements! I've never known him to show the safety video once - the first time I flew with him I could hardly do the demo as I was laughing so much.
Be sure to tell him he has a fan base at V-Flyer.com
Nick

Posted:
10 May 2004, 21:09
by philadam
And another one:
After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said,
"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please
remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while
the Captain taxis what's left of our 'plane to the gate"
I remember a flight on easyjet to Edinburgh when the Flight Attendant was showing how to use the lifejacket. Rather than showing us where to find the whistle to attract attention, she blew it HARD. Well it had the desired effect!
Phil

Posted:
11 May 2004, 16:01
by Ian
quote:Originally posted by Tinkerbelle
I've never known him to show the safety video once
It was inspirational to use Bob Mortimer and Dani Behr(?) to voiceover the safety video, but after so many viewings as a passenger it gets a little tired. I'm not surprised the IFSs want to spice it up a little.
Time for a change?

Posted:
22 May 2004, 21:28
by RichardMannion
For me its the staff that make the flight, the products are all there - I have had some truly memorabable flights due to staff entertainment.
Like how do you respond to 'I was looking at VirginFlyer myself this morning...'

Thanks,
Richard

Posted:
23 May 2004, 01:29
by jonathan020
quote:Originally posted by RichardMannion
For me its the staff that make the flight, the products are all there - I have had some truly memorabable flights due to staff entertainment.
Like how do you respond to 'I was looking at VirginFlyer myself this morning...' 
Thanks,
Richard
You respond with "Actually its called V-flyer nowdays

".... Sorry just being a wise arse


Posted:
23 May 2004, 01:54
by RichardMannion
I did say something quite like that....
It was a great flight after that!
Thanks,
Richard

Posted:
24 May 2004, 11:30
by HighFlyer
Ive heard announcements like that too, i must say that it really makes the flight for me. My first VS flight was to Las Vegas in Economy and the announcements i heard were side splittingly funny! We had the gag about the fire alarms and smoking on the wing too!
The funniest ones we heard were the ones done in an Elvis voice (as we were going to Vegas) Pure comic genius!

Posted:
25 May 2004, 21:30
by candyman
youve solved the big question
is elvis still alive
hey he isnt working in our local chip shop after all he is alive and well working as flight crew for VS
steve

Posted:
25 May 2004, 23:30
by vs932
think it's great when VS spice the announcements up!
we had one on arrival to barbados...
"Welcome to Barbados airport. Please remain seated until the seatbelt signs have been turned off .... or you could jump out of your seat now, grab your bag and concuss the passenger next you whilst making a scramble for the exit like normal!"

spose it does get a little tiresome reading the same thing day in day out!
shaun

Posted:
25 May 2004, 23:35
by jonathan020
Saddest announcement for me was back in 1997 on arrival at London from from New York the captain annouced Diana's death in Paris which happened while in flight.

Posted:
26 May 2004, 00:03
by RichardMannion
Now if I had a £1 for every passenger I have seen that has completely ignored the warnign to remain seated with their belt fastened.....
Obviously it does apply to stoo-pid people. The evil person in me would slip a £50 to the crew and ask him to stamp on the air brakes....
Thanks,
Richard

Posted:
26 May 2004, 12:00
by candyman
one comment i remeber on this subject was not on VS but worth a mention we were getting the plane to the air bridge ready for unloading and most of the cabin were standing getting parcels from the overhead lockers when an announcment was made asking for pax to sit so that the pilot could see out of the back to park up properly and yes people did sit down
it was a charter to spain so perhaps the pax were not regulars !!
steve

Posted:
26 May 2004, 12:54
by Decker
did we land normally or were we shot down?... one of my favourites
