V-Flyer

Came across these while the Daught and I were researching potential universities for her aeronautical engineering degree:

"Squawks" are problem listings that pilots leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some actual maintenence complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the crews.

(P) = problem (S) = solution

(P)Left inside main tyre almost need replacement.
(S) Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

(P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
(S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

(P) Something loose in the cockpit.
(S) Something tightened in the cockpit.

(P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
(S) Evidence removed.

(P) DME volume unbelievably loud.
(S) Volume set to a more believable level.

(P) IFF inoperative.
(S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

(P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
(S) That's what they're there for.

(P) Number three engine missing.
(S) Engine found on right wing after brief search.

(P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.
(S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

(P) Aircraft handles funny.
(S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right," and be serious.

(P) Target Radar hums.
(S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the words.

(P) Dead bugs on windshield.
(S) Live bugs on order.

(P) #2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
(S) #2 propeller seepage normal - #1, #3, & #4 propellers lack normal seepage.

Made me giggle anyway, especially the missing engine one!

Regards

Pat

Ha really funny, if you don't think about it too seriously.

Do you reckon these things really occur in the non military sectors too, ie my holiday aircraft?

No, I don't even want to consider that at all [:0]

thelaceys

hehehee - thanks for those Pat. I'm sure I recognise some of them from reading before, still made me giggle.

""main tyre." Actually written by an American .... (correctly spelled tire)"

Originally posted by mcmbenjamin
"main tyre." Actually written by an American .... (correctly spelled tire)

Not over here, it ain't [:p]

Originally posted by honey lamb

Originally posted by mcmbenjamin
"main tyre." Actually written by an American .... (correctly spelled tire)

Not over here, it ain't [:p]

True da' but Pattie J b' talkin' 'bout da' US Air Force yo' n' wee' be' spellin' tyre gangster' style (tire), holla back yo!

Seen them before but thanks Pat, they do amuse... if only the subject matter was less serious.

I guess you all maybe missing the whole point. Pilots write up comments that do not detail the problem. How the hell can anyone fix the issue if they do not know what it is?

Here are some I have seen.

Pilot wrote: GPS Broken.
GPS was fine, Navigation data card was out of date.

and the list goes on.

erm Ben... here is one I have seen.... PT